OK, so.. I’m not usually a movie critic, not even trying to push you “specially all the ladies out there” to go grab it, wear your PJ’s, have 1.5 liter of chocolate ice cream, and gather all your single girlfriends on a Thursday night, watch this 1hr & 29 min American movie , eating & cursing all the men you have met throughout your entire life.. Hmm..
I’m just trying to set few things straight in my mind and hopefully in the minds of many confused girls like me, by illustrating some facts about relationships between men & women. I’ll try to discard the cultural differences and focus on the “Human” part in the whole thing called “Relationships”..
Of course, the old cliche about a girl dreaming of her prince charming coming over his white horse, trying to rescue her and win her love, is something that most of us have realized that it does not exist not even in low budget movies. Not sure about Indian movies though! Anyways, still every single girl has the dream of finding her prince charming, who is so damn good looking, with great career, fancy car, touch screen mobile phone and stuffed bank account with NO mother or sisters.
All of us have experienced the feeling of being heart-broken; boy friend leaves for a younger, more beautiful girl, the husband fools around with his secretary, or the maid (eewww!); or the love of your life tells you that he can not marry you for loads of reasons and you discover 5 months later that he got married to your best friend. Ouch! So our only reaction is to turn to our closest friends, moms or sisters, cry our eyes out and try to find allll the excuses in the whole world to understand why and to make us feel better!
We have to admit that, as ladies, we constantly lie to each other when it comes to consoling our hearted broken girl friend.. “He dumped you? I’m sure he likes you a lot but he’s been intimidated by your high position or career that he couldn’t take it anymore!” that feels good 🙂 “Oh, didn’t call you back? I’m sure that he wanted to, but maybe he lost your number, got a secret mission out of town, his grandma died, or maybe was eaten by a LION!” daaa! but it feels so good too! Or maybe you’ve heard those words from the guy who broke up with you “You are great! I am doing this because i care so much for you! I envy the guy who’s gonna be with you!!!” But it feels good too ha?! Give me a break!!
There are lots of signals out there, that we as women, can never understand or perceive!! It’s sooo clear, but we simply have something planted in our heads that prevents us from seeing the truth! It’s like we are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes us.
I’ll play the role of Alex in the movie, the guy who somehow knows much about men and relationships, and try to give some advices to the stupid girl Gigi, who desperately try to find love, so here are some points that i took from here and there and from the movie itself:
- If the guy you like, keeps on mentioning the fact that he is never interested in marriage, or that he will never get married anytime soon; that means he is not that into you
- If a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. No exceptions.
- If a guy doesn’t call you, he doesn’t want to call you. Period!
- A wise person once told me that if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.
- “An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of “ruining the friendship.”
- “If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.”
- Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You’re deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.
- Don’t give him the chance to reject you again.
- Being lonely … being alone … for many people … sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel shitty or doesn’t honor the person you are is worse.
- Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with. You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.
- A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If he’s not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he’s showing up at your new residence to do it in person … if he’s not doing any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he’s just not that into you. Stop taking his calls and let him know what it’s like to live without you.
- He will always be able to play the “friend” card on you. He only has to be responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than the the far greater expectations of a boyfriend. He’s got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not see whenever he wants to. He may be one of your closest friends, but I’m sorry to say … as a boyfriend, he’s just not that into you.
This movie is fun to watch; Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Scarelett Johansson and many more… except for the crappy Hollywood happy endings.. It makes you think, sigh, and smile at things that happened or happening to you.. Just open your eyes, read the signs, stop giving excuses, you are great, and you deserve to be with someone who is so much into you..
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Reem Kharbat, Reem Kharbat. Reem Kharbat said: Please read my latest post and leave your comments https://rkharbat.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/hes-just-not-that-into-you/ […]
i agree 100% with you 🙂 your words are touching my heart .
you just wrote what is going inside girls’ heads
girls always close thier eyes not to face the turth
when a guy is into you, it is easy to be known & the message is clear enough :
he is straight, he is honest & he palns his future with you.
girls just open your eyes , be brave enough to take decesions .
always have a hope , never giveup ..if it doesnt work this time it will work the second time & if it doesnt work then it will work at the end .
ps ,
i love your words , hope girls will like it too
Ruba abuyousef
Well, Ruba, its all about accepting facts, facing the truth and reading signs! We can’t be that blind forever! Experience is important but do we really have to keep on trying and trying and trying until we find that one!? Maybe happiness is not just about finding the right one; maybe it starts from us, deep within us! I just tried in here to show few signals that might lead us to taking a good decision that we wont regret..
Love you, and don’t worry.. as long as we watch such movies together, then no worries, our ending will be disasterous just like “2012” loool.. OMG! :p
Excuse me ladies for interrupting what seems like the “Girls-Only” post but I know you will be kind enough to forgive me when you read what I have to say. Hopefully.
We all realize the differences between men and women (in terms of psychology, sexuality, needs and wants) and we always try to focus on these things rather than focusing on the similarities that bond those of the same gender together. My point is that it’s a fact by now that Men are On/Off switches while Women are Volume Knobs, which means that for men there is no “middle state” in their world, it’s either Yes or No and those who give excuses are just trying to communicate a “Gentle No” to you hoping that you’ll figure it out by yourself which I think is a playful and irresponsible act. So my advice is that always make sure your guy KNOWS exactly what he is doing and that you came to his world because he appreciates who you are as an individual and not because you represent a gear to shift his status from “single” to “yay am cool now” sort of thing. and TRUST ME, being alone and bored is way better than wasting your time with a jerk.
Oh Moe! 🙂 We’re more than glad to hear the other side point of view.. Cuz usually no one will be brave enough to step in and discuss this.. So, you proved me wrong 😉 And again, what you said is exactly what i was talking about.. We all know that men are from Mars and women are from Venus; so yea maybe we do focus on our differences rather than our similarities, and usually the struggle starts when one of the parties tries to change his partner.. And the fact is, no one will change; no exceptions! There are compromises, but no one will change everything for anyone otherwise you have to pick someone else that matches your wish list.
OK i think there are lots of things to discuss about this issue, and i have loads and loads of thoughts that i always wanted to discuss with the opposite sex and this post is never enough..
Thanks guys anyways, keep it up, love your discussion..
of course Moe , what you say is right , with guys “non jerks” it is always yes or no , black or white & other wise it is a way of being polite” Gentle men” not to say no in order not to hurt girls … but the stupidity always comes from girls side ..because they are different as you said, they always convince thier selfs with a fairy thoughts that only exists in their minds.
i hope things will get better & girls will realize more things about guys so they can live in an easy way & not living in their own imaginary world ..
thanks for your interruption 😉
@Butterfly:
You mentioned a good point that girls should keep in their minds, if he chooses you and fall in love with you then it must be because of who you are and not because of the vision he has in his mind for you once he takes control and demand that you change this and that. It’s about reaching a middle point that he and she are fully equal when it comes to sacrifices to achieve that. And by the way, I am waiting for your opinion of the Arrivals. It changed my life forever and would love to see how would the reactions be here.
@Rubitta:
I wouldn’t blame girls but I would absolutely blame our dumb and anti-female society for that. Inshallah when I have a daughter and I am responsible for raising her, I wouldn’t scare her of dealing with guys right from the start, I would make sure she understands what drives “Teen-age” boys and what responsibilities a “man” would need from her and arm her with the abilities to differentiate between the two of them, and then I won’t have to trust ALL the boys she meets but rather trust only her and what I’ve taught her.
I started watching the arrivals and daaaamn it freaked me out! Everything around us, everything that we use, read, watch, eat or drink is made, planned and done for a reason which is so crazy! It’s very long and i have to have a full day just to watch it. I will write a review once i am done with it i promise. But i can tell already that it will change my life as well….
By the way; i loved ur way of thinking when u spoke about how u will raise ur daughter.. Because i used to say that, the fear implanted in us by our families and the society is the big reason behind us being unable to express ourself freely or even choose correctly.. We tend to take decisions out of fear.. we tend to hide what we want or need.. it’s all because of the implicit fear that we grew up with!
The melting heart has only one space to fill…and that lies in your hands (girls&guys).
if you couldnt imprison your guy (or who you consider your guy)…then dont blame him for that…
blame yourself…cause simply feelings are only felt…
he cant control them.
you are just not that good to him or her…or visa versa
ok you might come and say (alot of people are jerks)….
yessss they are….but if you fall for a jerk….you go and blame the jerk??!!….
no you learn…and come out wiser…so next time…you’ll avoid the whole line of jerks fooling around you 🙂
“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time.
You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You’ll cry because time is passing too fast and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.
Don’t be afraid that your life will End, be afraid that it will never begin. ”
i know im too scattered….but yet again…thats art itself 😉
I am so happy to read this… it made me think alot… by the way; i can’t comment on anything … cuz i simply loved what you said.. Please let me know what u think of other posts…
Thanks
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE … ( la wein ma bedek ) IT !